SomebodyShotThePresident

"There's a Monopoly game going on in the day room. They've been at it for three days, houses and hotels everywhere, two tables pushed together to take care of all the deeds and stacks of play money. McMurphy talked them into making the game interesting by paying a penny for every play dollar the bank issues them; the monopoly box is loaded with change.
'It's your roll, Cheswick.'
'Hold it a minute before he rolls. What's a man need to buy thum hotels?'
'You need four houses on every lot of the same color, Martini. Now let's go, for Christsakes.'
'Hold it a minute.'
There's a flurry of money from that side of the table, red and green and yellow bills blowing in every direction.
'You buying a hotel or you playing happy new year, for Christsakes?'
'It's your dirty roll, Cheswick.'
'Snake eyes! Hoooeee, Cheswicker, where does that put you? That don't put you on my Marvin Gardens by any chance? That don't mean you have to pay me, let's see, three hundred and fifty dollars?'
'Boogered.'
'What's thum other things? Hold it a minute. What's thum other things all over the board?'
'Martini, you been seing them other things all over the board for two days. No wonder I'm loosing my ass. McMurphy, I don't see how you can concentrate with Martini sitting there hallucinating a mile a minute.'
'Cheswick, you never mind about Martini. He's doing real good. You just come on with that three fifty, and Martini will take care of himself; don't we get rent from him every time one of his "things" lands on our property?'
'Hold it a minute. There's so many of thum.'
'That's okay, Mart. You just keep us posted whose property they land on. You're still the man with the dice, Cheswick. You rolled a double, so you roll again. Atta boy. Faw! a big six.'
'Takes me to... Chance: "You Have Been Elected Chairman of the Board; Pay Every Player-" Boogered and double boogered!'
'Whose hotel is this here for Christsakes on the Reading Railroad?'
'My friend, that, as anyone can see, is not a hotel; it's a depot.'
'Now hold it a minute - '
McMurphy surrounds his end of the table, moving cards, rearranging money, evening up his hotels. There's a hundred-dollar bill sticking ou of the brim of his cap like a press card; mad money, he calls it.
'Scanlon? I believe it's your turn, buddy.'
'Gimme those dice. I'll blow this board to pieces. Here we go. Lebenty Leben, count me over eleven, Martini.'
'Why, all right.'
'Not that one, you crazy bastard; that's not my piece, that's my house.'
'It's the same color.' 'What's this little house doing on the Electric Company?'
'That's a power station.'
'Martini, those ain't the dice you're shaking - '
' Let him be; what's the difference?'
'Those are a couple of houses!'
'Faw. And Martini rolls a big, let me see, a big nine-teen. Good goin', Mart; that puts you - Where's your piece, buddy?'
'Eh? Why here it is.'
'He had it on his mouth, McMurphy. Excellent. That's two moves over the second and third bicuspid, four moves to the board, which takes you on to - to Baltic Avenue, Martini. Your own and only property. How fortunate can a man get, friends? Martini has been playing three days and lit on his property practically every time.'
'Shut up and roll, Harding. It's your turn.'
Harding gathers the dice up with his long fingers, feeling the smooth surfaces with his thumb as if he was blind. The fingers are the same color as the dice and look like they were carved by his other hand as he shakes it. They tumble to a stop in front of McMurphy.
'Faw. Five, six, seven. Though luck, buddy. That's another o' my vast holdins. You owe me - oh, two hundred dollars should about cover it.'
'Pity.'
The game goes round and round to the rattle of dice and the shuffle of play money."