sexta-feira, 18 de julho de 2008
Ponto 1. Os ingleses podem ter maus dentes, pés grandes ou darem péssimos turistas. Mas nada lhes tira o sentido de humor. Sãos os maiores e PONTO.
Ponto 2. Só há uma família real que faz sentido neste mundo: a britânica. PONTO.
Ponto 3. Os anos passam e o princípe Philip continua a ser um dos meus heróis. Não está cá (e deixem-me usar esta expressão que é tão boa) com funfuns e gaitinhas. As so called gaffes do princípe Philip não são gaffes. São pérolas de um sentido de humor épico. Se este senhor não fosse praticamente rei, tinha sido o sétimo Python.
1. China State Visit, 1986
"If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed."
"If you stay here much longer, you’ll all be slitty-eyed."
2. To a blind women with a guide
“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”
“Do you know they have eating dogs for the anorexic now?”
3. To an Aborigine in Australia
“Do you still throw spears at each other?”
“Do you still throw spears at each other?”
4. To his wife, the Queen, after her coronation
“Where did you get the hat?”
“Where did you get the hat?”
5. When asked if he would like to visit the Soviet Union
“The bastards murdered half my family”
“The bastards murdered half my family”
6. To a Briton in Budapest
“You can’t have been here that long - you haven’t got a pot belly.”
“You can’t have been here that long - you haven’t got a pot belly.”
7. To a driving instructor in Scotland
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
“How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?”
8. After the Dunblane shooting
“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
9. To a student who had been trekking in Papua New Guinea
“You managed not to get eaten, then?”
10. To Elton John after hearing Elton had sold his Gold Aston Martin
“Oh, it’s you that owns that ghastly car - we often see it when driving to Windsor Castle.”
11. On the London Traffic Debate
“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”
“The problem with London is the tourists. They cause the congestion. If we could just stop tourism, we could stop the congestion.”
12. To the President of Nigeria, dressed in traditional robes
“You look like you’re ready for bed!”
13. Unknown
“If you see a man opening a car door for a woman, it means one of two things: it’s either a new woman or a new car!”
14. On key problems facing Brazil
“Brazilians live there”
15. To the matron of a hospital in the Caribbean
“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”
“You have mosquitos. I have the Press”
16. During a visit to the new Welsh Assembly.
While he was with a group from the British Deaf Association who were standing near a a Jamaican steel drum band, he pointed to the musicians and said:
"Deaf? If you are near there, no wonder you are deaf."
17. During a visit to Lockerbie in 1993
He said to a man who lived in a road where 11 people had been killed by wreckage from the Pan Am jumbo jet:
"People usually say that after a fire it is water damage that is the worst. We are still trying to dry out Windsor Castle."
18. At the height of the recession in 1981
"Everybody was saying we must have more leisure. Now they are complaining they are unemployed."
19. After accepting a gift from a Kenyan citizen
"You are a woman, aren't you?"
20. In 1986
"If it has four legs and is not a chair, has wings and is not an aeroplane, or swims and is not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it."
21. In 1987, in his foreword to If I Were an Animal
"In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation."
22. In 2002 to a children's band in Australia
"You were playing your instruments, weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?"
"You were playing your instruments, weren't you? Or do you have tape recorders under your seats?"
23. When asked his secret for dealing with public appearances
"Never pass up a chance to go to the loo or to take a poo."
24. At the Royal Premiere of the James Bond film Die Another Day, on being told that Madonna sung the theme song.
"Do we need ear plugs?"
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